The Deceptive Stain
This morning saw my usual hurry to get out of the flat. Once again I left it until the very last minute to crawl out of bed, then bleary eyed I jumped into the shower. I didn't actually jump into the shower, that would have been a pointless waste of energy, wouldn't have saved me any time whatsoever, and could have been dangerous. But that's just what people say.
When satisfied that I was sufficiently clean for the day ahead, I back-flipped out of the bathroom and headed for my room to dress. I picked up a clean long-sleeved-jumpery thing from the radiator where it had been drying and put it on. This had been removed from the washing machine the previous evening and smelt extremely fresh. I must emphasise its freshness. It was very clean and fresh.
When dressed, and not a moment before, I cleaned my teeth before leaving the flat. I was halfway up the hill to the station, when I noticed a long white stain on my otherwise fresh and clean jumper. What was this? I had managed to stain it within minutes of wearing it. It must have happened when I was cleaning my teeth. Without altering my pace, because I really did have a train to catch, I emptied some water from my bottle into my hand and proceeded to rub on the stain. Hey Presto! It disappeared. Easy!
But I've been here before. The toothpaste stain is a complex one. If you soiled your clothing with most other things, you would either be able to remove it quickly, or not. It would be instantly apparent. The toothpaste stain however, gives the illusion of disappearing right before your very eyes, yet somehow it returns later in the day.
I arrived at the station and bought my ticket from the machine, smiling to myself smugly at the queue of people who were waiting for the attention of the man in the ticket office. I hopped down the stairs to the platform, then looked down to find I was still wearing toothpaste. It was back once again, bold as brass, like it had been there all along. This prompted another attempt to remove the troublesome, and frankly devious stain. I scrubbed a little harder than before and for a little longer. Surely this would be an end to the matter?
Two more times during the day I tried and failed. As I type, the toothpaste still has a weak hold on my clothing. How is it so difficult to remove? How does it give the illusion of disappearing for a period of less than an hour but more than ten minutes?
When satisfied that I was sufficiently clean for the day ahead, I back-flipped out of the bathroom and headed for my room to dress. I picked up a clean long-sleeved-jumpery thing from the radiator where it had been drying and put it on. This had been removed from the washing machine the previous evening and smelt extremely fresh. I must emphasise its freshness. It was very clean and fresh.
When dressed, and not a moment before, I cleaned my teeth before leaving the flat. I was halfway up the hill to the station, when I noticed a long white stain on my otherwise fresh and clean jumper. What was this? I had managed to stain it within minutes of wearing it. It must have happened when I was cleaning my teeth. Without altering my pace, because I really did have a train to catch, I emptied some water from my bottle into my hand and proceeded to rub on the stain. Hey Presto! It disappeared. Easy!
But I've been here before. The toothpaste stain is a complex one. If you soiled your clothing with most other things, you would either be able to remove it quickly, or not. It would be instantly apparent. The toothpaste stain however, gives the illusion of disappearing right before your very eyes, yet somehow it returns later in the day.
I arrived at the station and bought my ticket from the machine, smiling to myself smugly at the queue of people who were waiting for the attention of the man in the ticket office. I hopped down the stairs to the platform, then looked down to find I was still wearing toothpaste. It was back once again, bold as brass, like it had been there all along. This prompted another attempt to remove the troublesome, and frankly devious stain. I scrubbed a little harder than before and for a little longer. Surely this would be an end to the matter?
Two more times during the day I tried and failed. As I type, the toothpaste still has a weak hold on my clothing. How is it so difficult to remove? How does it give the illusion of disappearing for a period of less than an hour but more than ten minutes?
posted by Spoon at 11:38 pm
4 Comments:
Perhaps you should clean your teeth in the shower from now on.
I find stains disappear if you close your eyes and politely offer up a little prayer.
I have always found it so strange - people cleaning their teeth in the shower. Next thing you know it, people who get spagetti sauce on their shirts will be eating in the shower too. What is the world coming to I ask you?
People surely don't clean their teeth in the shower do they? Would they do it to prevent stained clothing, or simply to save time? If the latter were true, how long would it be before they were cooking and eating breakfast in the shower?
And knitting a sweater.
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