An Unexpected Conversation About A Long Neck

"That's why giraffes have long necks, to eat from tall trees," someone said to me. I can't remember why she said this, I think I only asked her for the time. An interesting topic nevertheless, and a thought provoking conversation ensued. My reasonably intelligent mind can see the evidence behind evolutionary theory, but not in the case of the giraffe, things just don't add up.

The aforementioned giraffe theory implies that once was a four legged mammal, who ate leaves and seeds from small plants and from the ground. This normal necked being one day looked up and saw some rather delightful things to eat in the trees. "If I ate them I'd be a much better person."

Negotiations with tree dwelling animals were fruitless, and poor old giraffe just didn't know what to do. He couldn't be arsed to climb about like everyone else so he had to simply eat what was on the ground. The animal gloomily looked up at the prized leaves which alas he could not reach. This gloom continued through generations over millions of years, until nature took pity and offered a longer neck...

Now this just doesn't work for me. There are plenty of other solutions to this problem. Like climbing, or adapting to other food. Why didn't the animal just grow proportionately taller? There just doesn't seem to be a good enough explanation for this ludicrously long neck.

A possibility somewhat overlooked by evolutionists is that the giraffe simply couldn't stand the smell of its own shit. A longer neck would certainly allow it to maintain a little distance from it's pungent waste.