A Giant Peers Through My Window

It was early this morning I was awoken by something less familiar than my alarm clock. My window was open an inch to allow in some air, and the blind most of the way down.

I awake to the window moving noisily by itself. It is opening more and more until a hairy hand appears on the window sill. This is strange as I live on the first floor. Not the postman, I conclude. He usually uses the letter box. The shadow of a large head is cast across the blind.

A big boomy voice wants to know if anyone is in here.

A Giant! We have Giants. Are they dangerous? Should I call a pest control company to install some Giant traps? You never know how quickly this could spread. As I gently ease myself back into reality from the depths of my much needed sleep, I recall the scaffolding that had been erected around my house by my landlord's building contractors. It is not a Giant at all. It is a painter and decorator trying to give the window frame an undercoat.

"Is there any chance of opening a window around the back?" He enquires.

"No, but there is a much greater chance of me asking you to start work later." I reply, looking at my clock in disbelief at a time I thought was only possible in the evening.

"OK."


I'll be the first to admit I'm not at my most helpful in the morning, particularly to suspected Giants leaning in through my window with paintbrushes. My windows have now been painted shut.

It looks as though I will have this kind of awakening for the next few days. I'm concerned that a builder/painter has such easy access to my kitchen via a ladder and scaffolding. I'm not casting any aspersions, but let's just say I shall be counting the tea bags over the next few days- if you know what I mean.