Monday, November 23, 2009

Events That Shaped Our World

There was once a show. It was a great show. In fact, it was arguably one of the finest, best received shows ever to be witnessed. It was so great that events have been modelled on it ever since ― show business has never been the same. The performance was of a musical nature. Some of the finest musicians of the time performed song after song in perfect harmony. The audience, probably made up of young men and women, gave rapturous applause after every song.*

The listeners revelled in the atmosphere, dumbstruck by the excellence of the music, and by the end of the show were simply beside themselves. An emotional bond had been formed. As the band struck the last chord of C flat minor the second, the audience went wild. The flautist immersed her instrument in a highly flammable liquid and set it on fire. The harpist placed the stringed beast on a wheel-board and rang out the final notes on roller-blades. The percussionist started to pack away since he had another gig to get to in Shroesbury. The atmosphere was electric!

The audience clapped, and clapped and clapped. They also shouted and cheered and whistled. This was a normal reaction for this group of musicians and they lapped it up. They took a bow and left the stage to devour their modest rider. On any ordinary night the applause would have continued for a short period, until everybody finally agreed to stop and go home. But that was on an ordinary night! Tonight was extraordinary, for the applause simply would not stop. They clapped and cheered and howled and whistled and stamped their feet like a pod of demented music loving seals. The band listened on in amazement as they chomped away on their less than exquisite cocktail sausages.
An hour passed and it became clear from the shouts of 'We desire additional material!', that the reluctant band would have to return to the stage. A crowd-pleasing song was needed, and luckily they had one up their collective sleeves. An almighty performance ensued and the delighted crowd finally dispersed, grinning from ear to ear. This was the birth of the encore.

This should have been a one-off. But when you give something extra, people want it all the time. Ask anybody. Ask Mr. Kipling, for he once had similar troubles with his delicious selection of tarts and fancies. The audience predictably told the world about the amazing show they'd enjoyed, and how a little more had been demanded after the now penultimate number. Crowds across the globe screamed and stamped and simply insisted, not leaving until they'd filled their gluttonous faces with a further slice of entertainment pie. It wasn't long before the phenomenon spread. It spread to all corners of an overwhelmed planet. Shakespeare looked on in horror as the finale of Romeo and Juliet was ruined by hecklers asking for them to come back and take more poison. It didn't take long to have an effect on the world of sport. Marathon runners were in a state of utter dismay on approaching the finishing line as spectators called for another lap. It didn't stop there. For a time the problem moved out of show business and into everyday life. Estate agents felt the pressure of showing another room after the tour of the house had been completed. Crematoriums were disgraced by mourners insisting on the return of the coffin after it had passed through the curtain. Banking transactions became a nightmare. Life on Earth had descended into chaos.

After a number of years the tide finally turned and humanity saw the error of its ways. History had taught the valuable lesson that one can't always be showered with bonuses ― one must sometimes just accept what is on offer. This was generally accepted in all aspects of life with the exception of popular musical performances. The encore is still expected to this day. It took a long time to get to where it is now and took on many guises. For a time one extra song was enough to fulfil the insatiable desires of the demanding crowds. Soon two songs were requested, then three, then four. One band tried to get around this by refusing to go on at all initially, then performing the whole set as an encore, but audiences just didn't go for it. Another endeavoured to leave the stage after every song, and return dramatically for the next, but this became time consuming and bored the fans senseless. Eventually after much trial and error we were left with what we have today. A band will perform a collection of songs in a timeframe just short of what one would expect, then leave the stage. Every member of the audience will applaud as though it is the end of the show, secretly knowing that there will be more. Some will even pretend to leave and start walking towards the exit. Finally the band will return to the stage and everyone will gasp with joy and look surprised. Two or three more songs will be enjoyed, then everyone will go home satisfied.

All is well once more...


What a charade.




*It had been decided at some point in history that the best way to show appreciation during any performance, be it musical, dramatic, sporting or comedic, would be to move one's hands swiftly together, palm to palm, and so inducing a loud slapping sound. This sound, known as a clap, would be generated by every member of the audience simultaneously, although not necessarily in time, and repeated at around two claps per second until sufficient appreciation had been conveyed.

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