Feeling Fit

The past few weeks of fairly intensive exercise are really beginning to pay off. I feel very fit. Extremely fit. In fact, I'd go as far as to say, I feel as fit as a butcher's dog.



A picture of a dog
which may be a butcher's dog.
I didn't ask too many questions,
I didn't like to pry.


But why is the butcher's dog so fit? Why is it more fit than any other dog? What is the butcher feeding this Adonis of Dogkind?

I would think that being the pet of a butcher would have its perks. You would be more likely to be fed and probably most of that would be meat. It's unlikely however, that you'd be getting the prime cuts. Can't have the dog eating the profits.
It is more likely that the dog would be consuming nothing but unwanted blubber. I now envisage the butcher's dog being mildly obese. Hmmm.

A dog owned by a general grocer would benefit from a more balanced diet.

I now feel as fit as a general grocer's dog.


Hooray!


Tomorrow, I'll be looking into the origins of this saying, wondering how one can be as fit as a fiddle, and discussing how a fiddle can be neither fit nor unfit, as it is a musical instrument.


Goodnight from me!

Beep Beep Beep

I keep forgetting to do my flies up lately. It's very easily done, and people take offence to it when they notice. I think a more advanced pair of jeans would alert you to this, with a buzzer that doesn't stop until they're done up, you know, like the seatbelt alert in cars. It could also prove effective in the prevention of flashers.

I have many more ways to improve trousers, which I shall bring to your attention at my earliest convenience.

Daddy Long-legs

So the Daddy long-legs is back. But where is it for the rest of the year? And are there so many around now to compensate for their brief appearance? I think I would prefer a steady stream of them.

They seem to be quite well off in the leg department for an insect that doesn't walk very often. For this reason maybe it should be put into the same class of beings as the Ostrich, which has big wings but walks everywhere. It doesn't make any sense.

Why do they like hanging around lamps? I'm so glad they don't lay their eggs there, or we'd end up with Larvae lamps! Wehey!

I must dispel a myth. I've heard this one floating around for years, and have probably relayed it to other people myself.
"The Daddy long-legs has the strongest venom of any spider in the world, but it doesn't have the fangs to administer it."

I have recently found this to be nothing but an urban myth. The Daddy long-legs, to start with, is generally a term in this country, for the crane fly. This cannot bite humans, and has absolutely no venom whatsoever. It's not even a spider.
So where did the myth come from? There are two group of spiders, also commonly known as Daddy long-legs, but both of these species have short fangs, and a venom which is believed to be ineffective on even the smallest of prey.

What I'm saying, is that it's all lies. Lies, lies, lies.

There you are, a scientific fact from The Spoon!

Problems Of A Fruity Nature

Eating fruit and veg is a stressful business. They say you should eat at least five a day. This isn't because you need that amount in one day, this is simply because if you don't, it'll all go off and you'll end up with a bag of mouldy fruit.

Every so often I have an attack of conscience. I just don't feel healthy enough. Got to eat more fruit and veg. So I get straight off to the shops without even stopping to finish my doughnut, and get my sugary hands on some of the fresh, lifesaving, goodness. I bring it all home, squeeze it into my fridge and cupboards, then finish my doughnut. The following day, the enormity of the task ahead becomes only too apparent.

It all goes off at the same time. Mushrooms, they don't last more than a few days. Salad, a couple of days. Melons, it seems like a week before they're ripe, go away for the weekend, and you've blown it.
Bananas? I find it best to eat these on the way home!

This time, I've been determined not to throw any of it away. The last few days I've been having mushrooms and potatoes with every meal. Pouring milk over my potatoes for breakfast yesterday, was no joke.
This morning I had a banana, oranges, strawberries and grapes for breakfast, yet there's still so much to get through.

Tomorrow; strawberries, blueberries, bananas, potatoes, mushrooms , oranges, salad, I'm having the lot! You see if I don't!